Have been experiencing unparrallelled rage today, as Big C hasn't replied to the text I sent him last night.
Big C is my occasional lover. I've known him for years; in fact we went to primary school together, though he was two years above me. Obviously he wasn't my lover then, that didn't start til we worked together at a pub when I was in my first year of uni. We had a night of frankly outrageously filthy sex, and then I met L so all prospect of further filth was delayed until me and L split up five years later. But once we had split, it wasn't long til me and Big C found ourselves sharing a bed once more. Since then we've managed to get together every couple of months or so. He lives down south, and is something to do with the military and has to go away to Iraq or Afghanistan every so often, which makes it hard to see each other with any kind of regularity.
Initially the casuallness of our set-up was what I liked the most; if we were in the same place at the same time then great, if we weren't for a while then no loss. I liked getting out of bed, saying goodbye and having no idea when and even if we'd get together again. But all of a sudden I find the casualness of the set-up bothering me more and more.
Big C is one of life's good blokes. I trust him with my life, I know he'd never mess me around or do anything to upset me. At least intentionally. And the situaion is mostly of my own making. I've never given him any reason to think that I may see him as anything more than how I describe him here: an occasional lover. But slowly I have found myself thinking about him more and more. When he's away with the military I find myself thinking about him every day, and worrying about him, and feeling so relieved when I know he's back in the country safe and sound. And this is not me; I am not one of life's worriers. But I realise that I miss him when he's not here, and I look forward to seeing him more snd more, not only because he makes me come like no-one else can but because (and I hate to admit it) I like him. Bugger.
So I text him last night at about 7:30pm. Nothing big, just to say hello and how are you. Have I heard anything back? Oh nooooooo. He's famous for this; generally being wank at replying to messages. He's done it to me a million times, and usually replies 24 to 48 hours after the text has been sent. But oh my god! it winds me us something chronic. Its not like I want to enter into some big long text conversation with him, I just like to touch base every so often, but gaaaaaahhhhhhh!! REPLY TO YOUR TEXTS BOY!
But anyway, I went to the local pub quiz tonight with R and O, two good boy mates. Didn't talk to them about any of this; having had a hlf-hearted fling with R last year I didn't feel it appropriate, so we just drank and failed miserably to get a decent score. Had a good laugh though, and forgot about how enraged I was for a while. No jogging, quelle surprise.
ps. Text has just come through from Big C, 28 hours later. Silly man. Love him.